the CAMP ENRON Report


CAMP ENRON:
... gateway to the next Progressive Era?

Some say it's nothing but a train wreck ... roll in the big cranes, clear the track, see what the crew's been smoking. If I thought so, I'd not be writing this ... and if they thought so, they'd not be drumming so hard.


For a brief orientation, see this
Welcome to Camp Enron

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Camp Enron Archives
01/01/2002 - 02/01/2002 02/01/2002 - 03/01/2002 03/01/2002 - 04/01/2002 04/01/2002 - 05/01/2002 05/01/2002 - 06/01/2002 06/01/2002 - 07/01/2002 07/01/2002 - 08/01/2002 08/01/2002 - 09/01/2002 06/01/2003 - 07/01/2003

NOTE to READERS:
(2) All "major" articles of older material have now been imported, some with updates worth perusing. We'll keep it all on the main page for a while, will add a few loose pieces of history, will trim the main page and index the archives for convenience later.


OUR DEPARTMENTS:

the COGENT PROVOCATEUR:
free agent, loose cannon, pointy stick ... taking an imposing analytic toolkit out of the box, over the wall and into the street ... with callous disregard for accepted wisdom and standard English

reading the tea leaves from original angles, we've led with uncannily prescient takes on the federal surplus, the dotcom crash, the "Energy Crisis", the Afghan campaign, the federal deficit.

More where those came from ... stay tuned.


For brief orientation, see this
Welcome to CP


CAMP ENRON:
... gateway to the next Progressive Era?

For a brief orientation, see this
Welcome to Camp Enron

OTHER GOOD STUFF:
Many thanks to Tony Adragna and Will Vehrs, still shouting 'cross the Potomac at QuasiPundit. Early Camp Enron material can be found in QP's Dispatches department.
Wednesday, January 16, 2002

 
--- Breaking News from Planet Enron ---

[ originally posted on The Fray]

How big is the Enron debacle? How big is big? To Richard Cohen "This is a cultural event, a systemic collapse, an outrage so breathtaking that we poor scribblers have no category for it."

To Josh Marshall "this could develop into a meta-scandal - a cascade of revelations which gain traction not because of specific or discrete criminality but because the sheer magnitude of the event delegitimizes the whole framework of interaction between government and corporations".

Is Enron a Meta-Scandal? Mega-Scandal? Giga-Scandal? It just might be a Scandal of Astronomical Proportions. This just in ...
FLASH: In a development whose gravity cannot be overstated, the planet Enron imploded and simply disappeared. Persistent rumors suggest the Elders of Enron had been manipulating a captive singularity -- a so-called "regulatory black hole" -- in a series of covert experiments intended to engineer an inexhaustible source of power.

A number of satellites continue to orbit Enron's last known position, spinning at ever-accelerating rates. Time itself becomes distorted as myriad small bodies plunge helplessly into the vortex, emitting withering blasts of heat and ionizing radiation.

Fragmentary distress signals from Aa, largest of Enron's five habitable moons, are still being picked up on the scan dial. This last dispatch from one Andykin Skytalker: "FASB GAAP EITF ... CFTC CBOT FERC RTO ... RNC DNC FEC SOP ... ENE CFO SPE LLP, SEC 8K ... BBB B-, MBA SOL ... AICPA ASB GAAS N2O, HAHA HAHAHA ... SHAZBAT! (EOT)" Homeworld languages in this sector are barely comprehensible, but we've achieved a partial translation as follows: "Ooooh ... Dark in here!"

An observer on Enron's sister planet Eiron notes with typical Eironic detachment: "Geniuses of Centripetalism? Poor spreadsheet jockeys didn't know Black Holes from Black-Scholes! Only a speculation, but I figure these Masters of the Universe miscalculated the derivatives somewhere, accidentally transforming the net energy field into a total cluster-function. With routine public disclosure, somebody would have nailed the error right off. Just goes to show -- Nature abhors a backroom."
[UPDATE: Maureen Dowd visits Planet Enron in the halcyon days before the Fall.]

OK, how big is it really? It's REALLY big, and I'll be back to describe just how big ... after I go invent some new categories.